30 Weeks 4 Days

I am completely and utterly amazed that as I sit here to write this, there is a very real possibility that Baby K could be making it's arrival in less than 10 weeks time. Where did the time go? There's only a mere three days left in July. According to my What To Expect pregnancy tracker on my iPhone (yes, they make those), the count is down to nine weeks, three days. NINE WEEKS. That is single digits. That means stuff is about to get real, really soon. The thought crossed my mind this morning that if I were to follow in my mom's footsteps, my first baby would be more than five weeks ahead of schedule. That would put us at just one month from D-day. (Not that a premature baby is either likely nor reasonable to ponder, but still.)

I feel like the days are dwindling by before I even get the chance to acknowledge them. The pressure is on. We're just a couple months to go with so much to accomplish. As some of you know, we've been "in the midst" of moving for several months now. In reality, this looks like my hardworking husband doing all he can to get our house finished and ready to be lived in before the baby comes, while I panic and complain about how long everything is taking. I feel an innate need to organize and clean and prepare before the baby comes, which has proven difficult since moving must first occur in order for me to do that. I am both excited and relieved to say that yesterday Will and I put our paint samples on walls (yes, we have walls now!), and we should be getting them all painted and pretty by the weekend. That just leaves flooring, electrical inspection, and final inspection standing in the way between us and our new home. In just three days time, we will be putting in our 30 days notice and I will be happily spending my days packing our things.

I understand that there isn't a whole lot that one can do to actually "be prepared" for the birth of a newborn. I mean, all one really needs are the body parts necessary to give birth and feed a newborn, right? While this might true, it certainly doesn't feel like enough anymore. Will and I had an encounter with Babies 'R' Us and left feeling like we were ill-equipped to be parents. There were so many life altering decisions to make; bunnies or elephants? Or monkeys? Or sheep? Glass bottles or plastic? I mean, are we going for the natural-organic esque, or cool and chic? I won't even tell you how long it took me to pick a stroller... and I'm still not sold 100%.

I am guessing this is normal to go through these worries. I'll go out on a limb here and say all expecting mommas go through days of anxiety, worry, unsure-ity, and just plain being scared. One would almost be foolish not to go through these feelings. After all, bringing a life into this world is kind of a big deal. All breast pump/crib sheets/ nursery color palate worries aside, the real fear comes down to being a mother. How will I know what to do? Will I be good at it? Will I screw them up enough that they'll need years of therapy to recover? Probably. Only kidding. Luckily, I am not the first woman on Earth to do this thing called have a baby. I am fortunate to be surrounded by many women whom I can seek support and guidance from when I am having a hard time. I am mostly fortunate that my mom is just 7.1 miles away (don't judge me for knowing that) away when I need her.
Which will be often, I imagine.