Pet Peeves

When people find out I have a Great Dane for a pet, there are a handful of puns that I can predict they will choose from. These puns include some variation of the following: "You should put a saddle on that thing!", "That's like a small horse!", "Did you ride that thing to work?", or my personal favorite, "That thing is huge!". Thanks for the comments, peanut gallery, but I hate to break it to you; your jokes are far from original.  

The same phenomenon occurs whenever someone finds out I'm pregnant. While the intentions are always pure, the results are sometimes skewed. Allow me to explore a few of the comments that are my personal favorite pet peeves.

Pet Peeve #1: "What do you want it to be?"

My answer to this used to be pleasant and polite as I entertained their inquiries. I would say something like, "Well, we are going to be happy with whatever we get!" Now, I'd prefer to say something witty like, "You know, I was really hoping for another puppy.. But I just don't see that happening." I don't think Will would appreciate my sarcasm. But in all seriousness- don't ask people this. I don't want anyone to give me an opportunity to entertain the thoughts of preferring one gender over the other. What if I start saying I hope it's a boy? What if it is a girl? For a split second, am I going to dislike the fact that it's a girl? Am I going to resent it? I don't want to even for ONE moment be disappointed with the outcome. So I'll just help us all out with this one and tell you what I want: I want a healthy, happy baby. That's all.

Pet Peeve #2: "Just you wait until...!"

For example: I wrote a status on an unnamed form of social media that said something to the effect of, "Sitting here feeling the baby dancing around in my belly. I can't get enough of this!" A few responses went something as follows: "LOL! You say that now, just you wait until that baby of yours is sitting in your ribcage and kicking you in the bladder!" I do realize that my sentimental sayings do, in fact, break down at some point. When I say "I can't get enough of this", I do know that there is an indeterminant time in the future in which I could, feasibly contain an adimate amount of "this" to be deemed "enough". I am aware. I wouldn't choose for my fetus to be in-utero for an eternal period of time, for serveral reasons. 1. I would hate for my fetus be be denied life on the other side of birth. There's much more to do out here. 2. I would concur that at some undertermined time post a 9-month gestation, the feeling of baby kicks may, indeed, become mundane. irritating, even. gasp. I said it. But hey, for now, in this moment, I am really enjoying every part of the experience. So please, let me enjoy it without having to jump months into the future and think about the moment when this feeling will become displeasing. 

I also like to call this comment "queen bee syndrome". This syndrome occurs when one human, typically female, feels the incessant need to one-up any experience, feeling, or situation one should find themselves in with an experience, feeling or situation of elevated decibles deemed significantly more severe. For example: In the rough of my 1st trimester, I state, "I feel so tired." Said queen bee smugly replies, "Oh you think you're tired now? Just you wait until that baby comes! Just you wait until you work full time, have two toddlers, a dead-beat husband and a screaming newborn. THEN you'll be tired." Hey, thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

Pet Peeve #3: "You only have X-amount of months left of child free life, enjoy it while you can!"

Ah, GREAT idea! Now if I could only get my sleep schedule, incessant vomiting, ever-growing stomach and ever-shrinking clothes to agree with your sentiments, then I'd REALLY be living large! What makes people think I am not enjoying it? I wonder what activities I would have to engage in in order for people to stop telling me to enjoy my time. Again, the intentions are good, but let's try not to use this cliche comment anymore, people. It suggests that 1. My life looks undeniably boring, or 2. All things fun in life are dead with the birth of a child. Neither sound promising. 

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If you said any of these comments at one point, I wouldn't remember. Honestly, I have heard them all so many times it would be difficult to keep tally. Perhaps it's important I included a disclaimer stating that while I joke about it, I really do appreciate everyone's intentions and attempts to be involved in my pregnancy. While I may poke fun, I promise that no feelings were harmed intentionally in the creation of this post. 

(But seriously, cut it out.) Haha!

Ultrasound

Moms and dads that have been through ultrasounds will agree with me when I say that there is no feeling in the world that compares to seeing your little one for the first time. Today we got to go in for our first (okay, technically second- but first "real") ultrasound. What a big change it was from the little black and white blob we saw just 9 weeks ago with indistinguishable appendages!

Thumb sucker already

This time, everything was so clear. We could easily tell the arms from the legs, fingers and toes, the facial features, even the beating of the heart. The picture was so clear that I could have counted the ribs if I wanted to, if I weren't so distracted by memorizing every piece of its little face. When we were watching it from the side, we saw a little arm raise up in the air. Totally fist pumping. Haha! We watched that same little arm curl back and extend it's thumb- headed straight for it's mouth! That's when the waterworks started. I couldn't help it but cry seeing our baby in action. I was so overwhelmed with happiness, excitement, and complete disbelief that all I could do was cry and smile, and let out the occasional, "awe".

I was surprised at all of the coordinated movements baby K was making. Itching it's ear, doing somersaults, crossing it's feet, and especially the thumb-sucking. I think s/he was showing off a little. We watched it yawn and then come down with the cutest case of hiccups I've ever seen. The weirdest part was that I could actually FEEL the baby moving from hiccuping while watching it on the screen. Talk about being blown away. After that 15-minute oogling session, the ultrasound tech got down to business. She took all kinds of pictures from different angles, taking measurements. According to said measurements, the baby is about a week ahead of schedule growth and development wise, and is in the 79th percentile! That being said, I could either 1. Have a watermelon for a child, or 2. Have the baby a little earlier than anticipated. (I am hoping for the latter.)

Tummy time
(head is on the left, you can see the spine along the top)

We got to take a closer look at the brain and the chambers of the heart as she took measurements. Do you know anything more amazing than looking at the brain of a child that has yet to be born? Yeah.. me either.

Guys, God is so good. I have never felt so full and blessed; He truly is an awesome God. I can confidently say that this was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. Knowing that it only gets better from here is what is really getting to me. Only 5 more months, baby, and I'll be seeing you suck your thumb in real life!

Dinosaur yawn! (face is on the right)

Mama Liam

As some of you may know, William and I are proud owners of a 135-pound Great Dane. One of the attractions to a Dane (besides the immense size) was that they are very docile creatures, making them a perfect choice to spend time around elderly, developmentally disabled, and our growing family. Since we deal with all three in both work-life and home life, a gentle spirit was a non-negotiable in our pet quest.

At 11 months old, so far Liam has exceeded our expectations. He is kind, gentle, calm, and very intuitive. That was until the past few months. It seemed like suddenly, Liam had quickly developed a very protective, boarder-line aggressive streak that we are not fond of. It started with him growling at the chefs of our family's restaurant. This was strange- because he has known these guys since he was a baby! He didn't stop there, though. His over-protective streak continued at the beach, Petco, and even in our home with our little nephew.

Concerned, I talked to my sister Hannah (who has owned several Danes herself) about it. She had an interesting thought- Perhaps Liam has become more protective of his owner because he senses I am pregnant! Seeing as this was the only variable that has changed in the last months, I resorted to the all-knowing Google. Our assumption was definitely reinforced by information on the Internet; dogs can indeed sense a hormonal change when their owners are expecting. 

Come to think about it, he has been pretty clingy to me (and my ever-growing stomach) as of late. I hope his protective streak is limited to my 9-month gestation, and he returns to his gentle self come October. 

Kick, Push

I don't know if you're kicking or pushing in there, baby, but I can feel you!

Last week when William and I were spending 8 glorious days in Mexico, I felt the baby for the first time! I had been feeling some "fluttering" if you will for a week or so before that, but nothing definite enough to accredit the baby. I had been told that the first few movements can feel something similar to gas (which thanks to my good friend Progesterone, I've had no problems discerning the correlation). Up until last week, I could go along with saying the movements feel like bubbles; this past week changed everything!

There was a definite KICK.

And then it happened again. I was so alarmed! I couldn't stop laughing. I was laying on the couch massaging my stomach (darn round ligament pains) when I felt it. Baby must have been telling me that I was squishing it in it's already tight quarters, because it kicked twice more when daddy put his hand on my belly and pushed.

There are not words to explain the awesome- truly awe-inspiring- feeling a child moving around inside of you. I feel like I have a new found love and admiration for God and His plan of creation. I can only feel a glimpse of how much He must love us, because I know I love this little one more and more each day!

The S Word

Stretchmark.

It snuck up on me out of nowhere. I mean, they really do come out of nowhere. One day you're perfectly happy, living a perfectly stretch-free life, and then BAM. There you are. Staring in the mirror at your left hip, while a dark red eye-sore of a stretch mark stares right back.

Or maybe that's just me, last Tuesday.

It's not like I have a fetus developing in my love-handle. And it isn't like they are getting exponentially larger as to need a stretch mark to facilitate my fat. It just, arrived. Uninvited. Unexpected. Tuesday.

I can now imagine my stretchy red tiger-striped stomach 5 months from now. All stretched out and saggy. I can only cross my fingers and hope that it's not as bad as I am imagining it will be.

That, or stop looking in mirrors.

What to (really) Expect When You're Expecting

• A gravitational pull towards all things sweet (and salty. Sometimes even in the same sitting)
• Heartburn, 'round the clock
• Tight clothes, which leads to...
• Stretchy waistbands. And yoga pants.
• A loss of lady-like posture
• An incessant need for perfect strangers to touch your belly (yes, this happened)
• Hair. Everywhere. 
• All day naps. Can I get an amen?

On the contrary, there are so many beautiful things that accompany the bad:

• A new unexplainable closeness with your husband
• Endless support from, well, just about everyone- which usually comes with...
• Endless snacks provided by those who are convinced I must "eat for two"

And best of all,

• The anticipation of meeting the precious being that WE created! God is so good. 

A Pregnant Textersation

Last night I had a textersation (yes, that's lingo for a text conversation) with my sister Cherish. Cherish had a baby 3 years ago now, and I got to be with her for a few months of her pregnancy. I pledged at the beginning of mine that I would send her a belly picture every week, because she is so far away. So last night, this is what happened after I sent her my 14 week picture:

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J: ... I bought maternity pants today haha [yes, this really happened. sigh]

C: hahahahahahahah

J: They are great. haha

C: I know right, totally comfy. And granny panties are the best when you're preggo! Hahaha

J: YEP, GP's are where it's at! Poor Will...

....

J: I cry all the time now and I get really mad at Will for no reason. He's like WHAT'S WRONG?! And I'm like... I don't know!! Haha

C:I remember that! It was mostly because my clothes didn't fit or Kevin ate my marshmallows or I felt fat and disgusting. 

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Oh, the little things.