Pet Peeves

When people find out I have a Great Dane for a pet, there are a handful of puns that I can predict they will choose from. These puns include some variation of the following: "You should put a saddle on that thing!", "That's like a small horse!", "Did you ride that thing to work?", or my personal favorite, "That thing is huge!". Thanks for the comments, peanut gallery, but I hate to break it to you; your jokes are far from original.  

The same phenomenon occurs whenever someone finds out I'm pregnant. While the intentions are always pure, the results are sometimes skewed. Allow me to explore a few of the comments that are my personal favorite pet peeves.

Pet Peeve #1: "What do you want it to be?"

My answer to this used to be pleasant and polite as I entertained their inquiries. I would say something like, "Well, we are going to be happy with whatever we get!" Now, I'd prefer to say something witty like, "You know, I was really hoping for another puppy.. But I just don't see that happening." I don't think Will would appreciate my sarcasm. But in all seriousness- don't ask people this. I don't want anyone to give me an opportunity to entertain the thoughts of preferring one gender over the other. What if I start saying I hope it's a boy? What if it is a girl? For a split second, am I going to dislike the fact that it's a girl? Am I going to resent it? I don't want to even for ONE moment be disappointed with the outcome. So I'll just help us all out with this one and tell you what I want: I want a healthy, happy baby. That's all.

Pet Peeve #2: "Just you wait until...!"

For example: I wrote a status on an unnamed form of social media that said something to the effect of, "Sitting here feeling the baby dancing around in my belly. I can't get enough of this!" A few responses went something as follows: "LOL! You say that now, just you wait until that baby of yours is sitting in your ribcage and kicking you in the bladder!" I do realize that my sentimental sayings do, in fact, break down at some point. When I say "I can't get enough of this", I do know that there is an indeterminant time in the future in which I could, feasibly contain an adimate amount of "this" to be deemed "enough". I am aware. I wouldn't choose for my fetus to be in-utero for an eternal period of time, for serveral reasons. 1. I would hate for my fetus be be denied life on the other side of birth. There's much more to do out here. 2. I would concur that at some undertermined time post a 9-month gestation, the feeling of baby kicks may, indeed, become mundane. irritating, even. gasp. I said it. But hey, for now, in this moment, I am really enjoying every part of the experience. So please, let me enjoy it without having to jump months into the future and think about the moment when this feeling will become displeasing. 

I also like to call this comment "queen bee syndrome". This syndrome occurs when one human, typically female, feels the incessant need to one-up any experience, feeling, or situation one should find themselves in with an experience, feeling or situation of elevated decibles deemed significantly more severe. For example: In the rough of my 1st trimester, I state, "I feel so tired." Said queen bee smugly replies, "Oh you think you're tired now? Just you wait until that baby comes! Just you wait until you work full time, have two toddlers, a dead-beat husband and a screaming newborn. THEN you'll be tired." Hey, thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

Pet Peeve #3: "You only have X-amount of months left of child free life, enjoy it while you can!"

Ah, GREAT idea! Now if I could only get my sleep schedule, incessant vomiting, ever-growing stomach and ever-shrinking clothes to agree with your sentiments, then I'd REALLY be living large! What makes people think I am not enjoying it? I wonder what activities I would have to engage in in order for people to stop telling me to enjoy my time. Again, the intentions are good, but let's try not to use this cliche comment anymore, people. It suggests that 1. My life looks undeniably boring, or 2. All things fun in life are dead with the birth of a child. Neither sound promising. 

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If you said any of these comments at one point, I wouldn't remember. Honestly, I have heard them all so many times it would be difficult to keep tally. Perhaps it's important I included a disclaimer stating that while I joke about it, I really do appreciate everyone's intentions and attempts to be involved in my pregnancy. While I may poke fun, I promise that no feelings were harmed intentionally in the creation of this post. 

(But seriously, cut it out.) Haha!