Too Churchy, Too Young, Too Pregnant

I got my first "you're too young to be a momma" comment when I was 13 weeks pregnant. My parade got showered on just three days after going public with our big news. At just 20 years old, I knew these statements would be inevitable; I didn't know that I would be so bad at letting them roll off my back. Those words stung and stuck with me for a few days before I was able to let it go. I am still not entirely positive of the intent of a comment like that, but I certainly know how it's perceived as the recipient. I have always been sensitive and care too much about what people think. I still remember where I was, who I was with, and what I was wearing the first time I was told I was too young to get married. I guess I am a people pleaser with her heart on her sleeves, even when it comes to my personal life. 

I usually try not to get in to things like this in this forum, but I felt it was relevant and needed to be talked about. Plus, where there is one person saying it out loud, I'm sure there's 10 more who are thinking it inside. 

I was struck by a comment the other day that I read. Someone said to another something to the effect of, "When did this get super religious and get married and pregnant fad happen?" I wasn't aware that there was such a fad, but I suppose, by default, I would be fall into it. This struck me for several reasons. One: I don't know that anyone gets into any of those things because it's a popular thing to do. I mean, being a bible-thumping Jesus freak isn't exactly pop-culture's idea of "trendy". In fact, I'd say the opposite. You're automatically the minority if you don't drink, smoke, party, swear, have sex before marriage, or spend your weekends "making up for the week's worth of work". Not to say any of those things are exclusive to non-Christians, but that is how the situation is perceived. Anyway. Moving on. I also don't know anyone that gets married or has children to be cool. I mean, you're stuck with these kids and spouses for quite a while. I would hope that the people getting into these committed relationships are doing them because, I don't know, they love each other, want to spend their lives together and build a family together. But that could just be me. Perhaps there really is a Christian/marriage/pregnancy pact that I don't know about.

My other reason that the comment struck me is simply this: Who cares? If you're not the one with the ring or the pregnant belly, why does it matter what others do with theirs? I have come to the conclusion that it is just in our human nature to analyze and judge the world around us. It is how we learn what we like, don't like, choose to emulate, and choose to dissociate with. I understand. We are curious people. We like to know what others are doing with their lives, and track our successes against theirs. But do we have to do it in such a critical way?

So, for those who wonder, I would like to address a few things.

• I am young. I know. I also know that to most, my age means that my marriage will surely fail, my dreams will be left in the dust, and I will fail as a parent. I know that it is a scary concept to most that someone at my age could possibly know what they want in life so soon. To you, I say you're right. I don't know what the world has in store for me. All I know is that whatever that may be, I would rather face it with my husband by my side than by myself. To me, getting married so young simply means I get that much more of my life spent with the one that makes me happy, makes me the best version of me, and supports me in all that I do.
• I am a Christian not to be "churchy" or religious, but because I love Jesus and what He has done for me. No one really needs God until they need God. It's easy to think, "I can pay my bills, put food on the table. My life is pretty good. I don't need God." You're right. But there may be a day in your life when you have nothing left to turn to but Him. For me, that happened young in life.  I was born with a chronic illness and cheated death more than once. My childhood was spent more in hospitals than out of them. And when I was home, there were years of my life spent in poverty and situations of abuse. I needed God. I still need Him. That is why I am a Christian.
• I write about things I think about. I often fill my status updates with things about my husband, my dog, my pregnancy, my home, my family, and my Jesus. I don't write about them to proclaim anything, but just because those things often consume my thoughts. If I am stuck in traffic and mad about it, I write about that. If I am tired and grouchy and in pain, you'll know. But if I am happy and thankful for something to do with my husband, baby, family, or God, you'll probably read about that too. 

It was 5 years ago this summer that I met William. I knew I would marry him. There were people back then voicing their opinions on my boyfriend choice. We proved them wrong. It was two years ago next month that William asked me to marry him. I said yes. People disapproved. We got married anyway. It was a year and a half ago that we said "I do". Many thought I was too young. To their surprise, we are happy, strong, and yes, young. I am 23 weeks pregnant now, and I suppose there are those who disagree with that decision as well. We will mess up. But we will be the best parents we can be, despite our lack of years under our belts. You will see. :)